Nose bites, penguins and the Chilean George Foreman

The last few days have been very eventful so I´ll just start from a few days ago. I was going out to the bars with my host brother Nico and his friend Javier. It´s always an interesting experience going out with Nico because when you get inside the club the first two things he does is pull his hood over his head (?) and buy a large beer to share. This makes him look especially shady as no girl can see his face, yet they can see the oversized beer he is carrying. It started just as any night would, checking out the room, but after a while I magically found myself dancing with an unusually tall (she was about 5´7´´, but here that´s huge) and attractive chilean girl. We were having a great time, she was really funny because she would just enjoy and play with the music. She would make funny faces, weird dance steps (the phone answer, a personal favorite) and just all around having a great time. I ended up losing the rest of my crew which was the hint that I´d been dancing with her for a while. I was getting thirsty so I went and bought a beer for the both of us and she gave me a sweet little kiss. I normally wouldn´t write about something like this but it sets up where I´m going. So we finish the beer, and start dancing a little closer. Things were really going well, she was still playing around, I was having a great time. And then it happened, she bite me in the nose. It seemed playful but still, who bites people in the nose? I´ve heard of ears and neck(vampires), but the nose. Needless to say, my nose still hurts two days later.

The next day was really uneventful, due to the late night before. I ended up going to be really early because I had an early bus ride. So I get up nice and early and I have to get to Santiago on the 8 o clock bus. I get out of the station and the first bus I see is the 8 for Santiago. Perfect. I got on the bus and was enjoying my ride to Santiago when, 45 minutes into the trip the ticket inspector came buy. I held my ticket out, he ripped off the end and walked away. Then he came back to see it again. Whoops, I got on the wrong company bus. The guy was actually really cool about it, but I felt like an ass.

Only bad thing about taking the wrong bus was it dropped me off at the wrong station in Santiago. This meant I had to take the metro to the other station. After buying the ticket the station manager informs me that I am not allowed to board the metro due to my oversized boardbag. I start explaining to him that the metro is uncrowded and I only have to go a few stops. He starts to get in my face over nothing and starts calling me names which I don´t take kindly, so I called him a hijo de puta and left ( I did turn once to see his face, not happy). I got a cab to the next station and right in time to catch a bus to Pichilemu. It was so nice to have that part work out so easily.

I end up getting picked up by Valerie, one of the owners of the spanish school, and she drops me off at my house to meet my new host mom, Pati. She´s cool, shows me all around and leaves me be. After that I went straight to the beach to check out the surf, it was good. Really, really good. I surfed until dark with a huge smile on my face. It was a nice change because the locals here are a lot cooler about the crowds (easy because there are none). The wave is a super long river mouth point break. The bottom is all sand and the wave itself is so playful. It´s definitely one of my favorite waves. It´s cool how open it is here too, theres a ton of fish and wildlife. Today I even saw penguins swimming around in the water.

After my surf, I headed straight back to the house to have dinner with the family before Pati leaves for the weekend to see here son at university. I get the low down on the family. Oldest son, Pato, goes to uni. Then there are two daughters, Pati Su and Pati Po, who are cheerleaders at the local high school. Yes so that is right, the mother has named all of her children after her (including a son). It´s really weird, but all she needs is a couple more before she can reach George Foreman status.

Now I´m just hangin out getting ready for my Baseball fantasy draft (in which I´ll probably take Russel Martin five rounds too early) and then the UCLA game.

Zucarosos or Zucaritas: The Pros and Cons between the Sugar CornFlake Giants

Shipping things from Chile is an interesting experience. I guess I should have expected it, but I was caught off gaurd. I went a few days ago to send a charcoal painting back home (so it won't get ruined and it might be framed when I get back). Well they don't provide packing stuff. It is, very much, a do it yourself sort of thing. I went looking for cardboard on my way home, but seeing as it was the afternoon, all of the bums had cleared the cardboard out of all the garbage places. It's a weird place down here, there isn't any recycling, just put your trash on the street. Dogs eat left over food, bums get the cardboard, cans and bottles and what little is left goes to the dump. I hadn't realized that the food chain incorporated this so I had to use my own creative instincts.

When I got home I scoured the apartment for appropriate materials. Pocketknife, check. Tape, check. Building materials...still working on that. I didnt have much luck so I thought I'd have some cereal, the thinking man's food. I always seem to get some quality thinking done while eating a bowl of serial, not sure why that is but I can't be the only one. I finish off the last of the Zucarosos (Frosted Flakes) and since it was just the remnants of the box, I opened up the Zucaritas (uh...also Frosted Flakes). This, for obvious reasons, made me immediately stop thinking about my shipping quandry. How is it possible that there are both Zucaritas and Zucarosos with an orange Tiger on the front. I mean, really, they have to have some kinda of copyright/trademark infringement down here. The thing is the parent companies were both American (Zucaritas being General Mills and Zucarosos was Nestle). I mean I know you can get away with more down here but, c'mon, at least try to not completely mimic someone else. It made me so angry at Nestle that I decided to make it my shipping box. Wait a second, I just figured how to send my Painting home. Not so angry at Nestle now. It should be a nice surprise for everyone in the office to get a package out of Zucarosos (although i did invert it, brown on the outside, so as not to give it extra publicity). So while I'm going to stick with eating Zucaritas over Zucarosos, I can at least say that the cereal box is a great way to ship things.

Soy Guaton

"Eres Gordito." That's what my host brother said to me today. Apparently my gorging on bread, avocado and cheese has had a lasting effect. I've probably already put on 10 pounds here. This is the difference in this trip from this trip from others. Usually I'm trying to save every penny, so I don't buy too much food, and I rarely ever have dessert while I travel. But here, I live with a family, and the mom force feeds me more than my mom. She's constantly trying to make me eat more. I think she wants me to be a fatass. This is also saying a lot because I'm a pretty active person. I walk a half hour to and from school and then i end up surfing in the afternoon. I usually don't surf that long though, because its not usually very good in the afternoon. The wind kicks up and it looks like a more makeable, but blown out version of Thousand Steps. I think yesterday was the first really good day that I had, but that punk blondie woulnd't leave me alone. He kept yelling at me, telling me to get out of the water in both english and español (if you want to know how to say get out of here, fucker! its sale culiao!), so I haven't really had a really fun session yet in Chile. This should change when i get to Pichilemu.

I feel like there should have been a change in paragraph back there. I had a temporary lapse in to Faulkner style. Only problem is I feel like that was worth telling and I don't want to edit it. You okay with that...good. I'm going to a completely different subject. That's Benja, the 19 month old kid of my oldest host brother. I think the kid likes me more than his dad, i've become friends with his mom and she was telling me that when she says that he is going to visit with his pops he always says BREENE! (and stands on his toes at the same time, for effect i guess). Which made me realize I am going to be...a cool uncle (fooled you mom, you thought I was going to say dad). I think being the uncle is kinda like being the young version of grandparents, you get all the fun stuff without the daiper changes, temper tantrums, drooling, crying at night. I guess I could do that eventually, but I like being the cool uncle for now. It's fun, because Benja is always glad to see me, runs at me and is just, in general, adorable. I mean the kid is never angry or pouty when he's over here. I think his parents are really lucky that they didn't get a crier. I mean I'm sure they would still love him as much, but it's a lot less work when you're kid is almost always in good spirits.

I think I'm just going to end the post right now, I'm off my game today. I'll be back soon when I'm less stupid.

This weekend was a big weekend for me. I made definitive plans for at least two separate things on my trip. This is unique for me. Usually I just have an idea of what I'm doing and kinda figure it out. I rarely have a set in stone schedule. That's not to say I'm unprepared but I don't like to finalize things unless its necessary. It just makes life so much easier when you have a little bit of room to move. Those of you who have been reading, know the first, I've made reservations to go to Pichilemu and spend a month learning more spanish. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about that. It should be quite a different experience to what I've had so far. I'll be going from a town of 200,000 with below average beachbreak surf to a tiny little town of less than 20,000 with two (at least) beautiful left hand pointbreaks. This is something that is completely expected of me. I mean I set out with the goal to learn spanish and get some good surf. So this second thing I made plans for is a little bit more random...actually, a lot more random. I will not surf here and I will not speak any spanish here, and I'm going to miss my 25th birthday to be with a bunch of strangers and I'll barely make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

So what could this be? I'll tell you. I am going to Antarctica on a cruise. Yep, sent in my deposit and I'm going to do it. I can't even believe it. It's one of those places that has never made much sense to the general way of my life, but it's something I've wanted to do for a while. I can't wait to see the ice, frozen so purely that it's blue, the leopard seals and the cute little penguins scurrying away. I just think this will be amazing. I think I should have been a biologist. I love really weird places (Love the galapagos too, warm water penguins/marine iguanas/sea lions/giant turtles). Unfortunately to go back and train for that would put me graduating at the tender age of 30 (and that's only with a BS), and I'm not quite sure that I want it that bad. I mean it's one thing to go back to business school (or something for International Development) but that's only two years. But back to this trip. The other reason you know that I really want to do this is I might never get a chance to do this again. I mean I have to go all the way down to Tierra Del Fuego and then get on a boat to the Antarctic. It'll take a few days just getting there let alone the trip, when am I going to have this much free time again. Plus I'm not sure who else would want to go with me. I mean, it's not exactly everyone's paradise. And one of the last things, money, I mean there is a distinct possibility that I'll have some sort of financial ties in the future (maybe rent, possibly a mortgage one day, maybe a wife and kids...wait, let's not get carried away here). Right now, I have had no mortgage, no rent, no girlfriend (the most expensive) for the last year so I've been able to save up enough for this. And I promise, I'll take pictures.

¿Como Se Dice "Guinness" En Espanol?

This may or may not surprise you, but there aren't very many Irish pubs in Viña del Mar. To be honest I'm surprised, I have yet to be any large city where there isn't an Irish Pub. It's not like Viña is a small town either, with 200,000 people I think it legitimately should have an irish pub. So tonight's goal. Where is it? I'm thoroughly convinced that there is one here, that I just don't know about it. Irish people are everywhere (not like a parasite, more of a symbiotic relationship like the barnacles on a whale), I'm quite surprised that I've met as few as i have here in South America as I would have thought (I have met those bloody pommy bastards though). It seems like the Irish love a good adventure, and there is plenty of that down here. And because its Saint Patricks Day, I'm definitely looking to have a few beers tonight.

Saint Patrick's Day is one of my favorite holidays of the year. Probably just behind the dynamic duo of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Saint Patty's day is just a great day. A few years back it was the first time I ever took a tequila shot with my grandpa. He's normally very reserved so it's a lot of fun to see him with all of his old friends, he definitely lets his gaurd down a little (I did see him shadow box with Ed Shannon, one of the funnier grandpa moments I've seen). Gramps just seems to have a good time. One of my other favorite parts is having UB there with his old college buddies, he's still his normal self and he's responsible so he leaves early, but afterwards is when Crack is hopped up enough to start telling some UB stories. That's always fun, hearing all the stuff they did (don't worry UB not going to post any of it, other that I love that you'd bury yourself in hot laundry after a bad day). Then, eventually Crack starts to cross the line and you'll get someone to divert him before he really spills the goods on everyone at the table. Plus I would always get dropped off at Maloneys (or whatever it is now, Rudy's I think) in my tux and that was always fun.

It's just a great family day. I don't know if this is true for families of different heritage or even for Irish families (I know, I'm using Irish Family very liberally here) but having a few beers, with multiple generations and friends always seems to be fun. I mean you always learn something about your family that you never knew before, maybe they were embarassed to tell or they just don't think its a big deal. All I know is that I always feel a little bit closer to my family after St. Patty's day.

Otherwise, I'd Want to Kill Myself

Sometimes I think of great ideas, I mean really good ones. For example the costume I had for Halloween my junior year in college should be put up in the hall of fame of Best Costume ideas of all time. I'm not sure how this works for everybody, but some of you may be aware of what goes on during Halloween. Girls dress up like slutty lawyers, cops, angels, devils, you name it they got something slutty for that. So of course if you are going to be the center of attention one night a year, Halloween is a pretty damn good one. So how did your average sized slightly above average looking guy do it? I'll tell you, I went as a scuba diver. I can hear everyone now. A scuba diver thats dumb? Or is it? I was wearing a shortjohn wetsuit (by the way, it rained that night, so as far as the wetsuit goes...good idea), fins, snorkel and...instead of a airtank, a pony keg of hefenweisen strapped to my back (pony kegs, for those that aren't aware are small and cylindrical and look almost identical to an air tank). Hot girls do not like crap beer, and so for five hours i was surrounded by attractive women (note: should not go down as best costume ever due to high likely hood of drinking yourself stupid and blowing it...repeatedly).

Perfect example of a good idea I've had. I thought that my trip down to South America would be a great idea too, but I've come to my first painful homesick experience. I'm missing March Madness. I haven't seen one bit of action so far, and because my computer doesn't have (and is having major difficulties supporting) windows media player, I can see anything. I've let a very large part of my life just walk out, I'm trying to cling on by just watching the sports tickers on espn.com. I mean I see who's won, but the action I'm going to miss that too. I'm really struggling with things right now. My aparment is on the sixth floor and I found my self looking over the edge...contemplating.

So what brought me back? I know some of you could understand how close I am to making the leap...well I'll show you. This little snippet I found on the web brought me back:

http://www.pichilemulanguage.com/

Go ahead, check it out.

(waiting)


(still waiting)





(God dammit, would you actually look at it already)








Okay, well if you aren't going to look at it, here's what it is. A spanish language school, with connections to homestays that just happens to sit on two of the longest left hand points in the world...yep, the world. The Pichilemu Language Institute has just saved my life. I now know I'll be able to get through this difficult time with the hopes and prayers that they have room for me, and a place for me to stay (I'm really hoping for a homestay).

I had originally decided that I was going to spend a bit more time in Chile and then head up north. But now I'm not so sure. I think I might stay there for a couple months, with a hiatus to go to Argentina to see a friend. It could be incredible. Just surfing the whole time and learning a lot (plus it inferred that they can teach me surf lingo as well). I'm so excited. I've heard so many things about this wave (Pichilemu/puntilla and Punta de Lobos) and now I'm going to go there and surf it, and actually continue to learn my language.

Planned Sacrifice for Chickens Put On Hold

I actually got good (okay, decent) surf today. It was so refreshing to not have to pull into overhead closeout barrels all day. I still had a few but they were usually in attempt to make it out the other end. This is not to say that the surf was great. There was basically a takeoff, drive down the line and hope that the wave doesn't mush out. It made it hard to to any sort of turns but I got a few in.

The locals here are an interesting group. They really like to have this tough guy look in the water. Not that I haven't seen something like this before, but it usually accompanies a local group trying to do one of two things. To slow down the population explosion at their homebreak (see Palos Verdes, Silverstrand, etc.). The other is to make sure that their already crowded break doesnt get too dangerous (usually at good wave spots, like Pipe, Sunset, Waimea, Off the Wall, shit you get the point, it's basically the North Shore of Oahu). This wave is neither overcrowded or good. It is a two star wave that gets its first star for being remotely surfable and the second for being consisten (even if it's consistently crap). I go out here and it looks like some of these guys are actually trying not to enjoy themselves. Not only that but there was this kid in the lineup yelling for all the gringos to ge out of the water (I was the only one and fuck him he's 15) the funny part about all this is he is this toe headed kid who thinks he's hot shit. I actually laughed out loud at this kid. Just complete silliness. There are 10 guys out in the water and this grom is out here trying to bully people around, of which I am the target but he won't look directly at me. I will mention that there is ten people but 4 peaks which made it even more ridiculous.

I remember when I was 15 and surfing, screw that example, have you seen a 15 year old kid in the water in Cali? They are usually sitting on the inside peak (at Lowers, Newport, Laguna) with a couple other friend, just having fun...and ripping. This kid was doing both. I'm bummed that a kid can't even enjoy his homebreak. I'm hoping that I see this change at other spots. This can't be the norm. I've never been anywhere in the world where the entire crowd was pretending to actually not like surfing...while surfing.

I'm Claustrophobic

Normally, I won't do a double post in a day, but this is an exception.

I left for Chile the day after the NBA All Star game in Vegas. It's not going to be remembered for a great game, but the racially charged reactions to the weekend in general. Some people are talking about how unsafe and dangerous it was, and others we saying how it wasn't that bad. And to be honest, I have no idea about how it actually was. I wasn't there and I've heard so many different summaries of the weekend.

Usually, these post all-star game columns are pretty standard, they're devoid of any liveliness. The NBA All-Star game is a break for all people involved with the NBA (save the hosts/commissioner). But this year was different. What happened in Vegas became a headline in every sports page, and within the columns, the subject of race/racism was either touched on/glossed over/or delved into. And for one of the first times in my life, I am so emotionally filled, I'm not sure how to react. There have been guidlines on so many sides as to how to react to race, how to write about it, how to think, how to behave, that I feel completely claustrophobic.

I keep seeing reactions, emotionally charged (as it should be, it's important) and every single person has some sort of knock on another person's writing/writing style/thought process. If you want to read any of this, check out Scoop Jackson ( http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=jackson/070228 ) and Bill Simmons ( http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/blog/index?entryDate=20070302&name=simmons ) arguments on ESPN.com, or Jason Whitlock's on sports.aol.com, or FreeDarko.com (or any of their writers, D-Wil has been one of the more prolific, http://dwil.wordpress.com/2007/03/04/more-all-star-week-fallout-deconstructing-bill-simmons/ ). It's become apparent to me that there is no right way to handle race. Some people's idols in this fight for equality are other peoples demons. It seems like, not only can't you please all the people, you can't even please a quarter of the people. It's been so dissected that it now seems impossible to respond. But after reading it seems like there are some things I should say.

This is all of course knowing full well, that I am completely open to advice, I am a white male, therefore I do not understand the difficulties of being a minority in any respect (black, hispanic, gay, women, etc.). And because I recognize that I don't know much, this is a perfect time to give me perspective. So with that, here I go with things I don't get.

1. This has popped up many times and I've never understood it. Most recently while watching "The Wire" with a dialoge between Bunny Colvin and Carcetti and with all this hoopla around hoops. It's the notion that, even though a person is a died in the wool racist, at least they respect him because they knew where he stood. It's better than those liberal "I understand their plight" people.

What the fuck? I mean really, I understand George W. Bush's position, but I think he's a fucking moron. I don't respect him, because he hasn't learned anything. He keeps running things into the ground. I really hope someone black responds to this. I have to know, because of all minorities I've only heard it from black people. I've never heard a woman say "I know he's a mysogynist and a wife beater but I respect him because atleast I know where he stands." That sounds ridiculous.

2. Bill Simmons is probably a little racist and in his style, he's always good for 1-2 racial cringe sentences per week.

3. Cracker is racially charged, yeah it doesn't have nearly the effect as writing nigger, but it does have some racist element to it. I've had people call me cracker and it definitely didn't feel the same as someone calling me white.

4. I'm relatively naive when it comes to racism in context to Black and white (Hawaii and California, not very large black populations) and it was therefore a revelation when I learned that the white control of the appropriate black man's response. I guess I never really thought of it, partly because I grew up with a very calm family and always felt awkward in the presence of vocal anger, but I now notice how white people will dismiss a black person if he raises his voice. Not everyone can be Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Ghandi, and if I'm correct Malcom X sure seemed to get his point across. It's something that I've probably fucked up before, but now I'm aware of it and I'll try to handle it better next time.

5. After spending time in other countries, I've learned that a lot of people laugh at terms like african-american but not asian. I have no idea why this is. I was talking the other day with some people and I used the term african-american (actually africano-americano, but you get the idea) and they were like, "why do you call them (sorry for the use of them/they, if I were smarter I'd think of a better way to put that ) that? They aren't from Africa, the are American and Black." I really had no answer for that, but when I said someone was asian (note not even asian american) no one even blinked. I have no idea why this happened, but it did. It was strange for some people to allow this continental descendancy from one group but not the other. I'm completely clueless (naturally).

6. Hip Hop culture gets a horrible wrap. I mean its not like they are doing anything worse than what rock and roll has done for ages (i.e. let's do drugs, sleep with lots of babes and enjoy our money). I mean that's one of the mottos with Rock and Roll ("Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll"). Could you imagine if the hip hop culture came out with a motto like that, they'd be crucified. And for all those who say how much better the lyrics used to be, I really don't buy it, you find what you are looking for.

I guess I'm just beginning to realize that things are never going to be perfect, I mean it just isn't going to happen, you'll have good stretches but when it comes down to it, I don't know anybody that is perfect. Every one is going to fuck up something some time, it's just what we do. You look at anything you've ever done. Even when improving rapidly, you still have hang ups and fuck ups. Steps backwards. The goal is just to keep trying. I mean in the last hundred and fifty years there has been the freedom of slavery, women's suffrage, civil right's movement. All that has happened so recently, and we are in one of the most developed, intelligent countries in the world. I mean even right now in the states we are fighting over Gay Marriage, doesn't that seem like something that should be in the same civil right's movement.

It seems our next step, the one that will please the most people, is if we start evaluating every person as a person and not as a representative of their race. It seems like that's what happens with white people. If someone does something bad its just that person. But if someone of another race, it seems like its easy to find it in the papers, without name and just the race of the person. Maybe if we change this habit, we'll start fixing things faster. It won't be perfect, but its an improvement.

I Can Now Say 'Stop Soaping Your Ass' In Spanish

Friday was a big night, maybe not in terms of amount of drinks, but needless to say I had a few. It was just such a damn late night (got back around 5ish, so not that late for here) and I was beat all of Saturday. So I woke up around noon and flip on the tele in my room and what's on? That's right, Mr. Deeds.

For those of you who don't know, my esteemed colleagues, Jason Gallup and Scott Kulek, spearheaded a period of my life in which I probably watched Mr. Deeds 50 times (Jason guesses he's closer to 200 and I'm sure that Scott isn't too far behind that). So you can see why, for me, there is some nostalgia attached to it. It's fun here because all the movies are in english with subtitles, and I have gotten in the habit of reading all of the subtitles to what is being said on the screen. It's a really fun activity, because there is rarely a direct translation. The most common one is instead of 'damn,' it's 'maldición,' which is more or less saying "bad word." So I chuckle a lot through the familiar movies that are played. However, its the funniest when some thing comes across and they translate it literally.

So I was watching Mr. Deeds and it gets to the part where Chuck Cedar goes into get some inside information on Deeds and he finds his informant in the shower and says that he'll pay him "provided the information is good...and you stop soaping your ass." Well I was reading the subtitles, and for those that want to know, you say "deje de enjabonarse su cuelo." Yep, that right there is a golden phrase. I'm not sure if there is ever going to be a moment when I need it, but in case i ever find somebody who is a little too vigilant on ass-soaping, I can tell them to stop.

Russian Gansters Rule

Some of you may or may not be fans of Bill Simmons. For those of you that aren't this is why I bring it up. After the World Cup last year, Bill Simmons decided that he was definitely missing out on this whole football/soccer craze and he needed to right that. He saw that the game attracts the most passionate fans in sports. Fans sing for the entire game, with a home game being comprised of almost every person wearing team colors, none of this special white out (Miami Heat) or red out crap (Arizona Wildcats), this is just what they did. So with his new found enthusiasm he decided that he was going to choose a team from the Premier League and start to follow them. He had a large criteria and narrowed it down to a few teams, eventually selecting the Tottenham Hotspurs.

Well, after spending a few weeks in South America I've watched enough football (I'm going to continue to call soccer football because, as opposed to american football, it makes sense because you play with your feet) I've been able to see a handful of games and I've come up with a team that I like. Although I haven't seen every team (give me a break, I've been here two weeks) I've seen a handful.

Teams I've seen:

Barcelona: Ronaldihno is the heart and soul of this team, but its not without supporting stars. Deco is good and they seem charismatic. My problem, I always come away underwhelmed by Ronaldihno. He's supposed to be this amazing player he just hasn't seemed to perform on that upper level that only great players play at when I've watched him.

Liverpool: Sissoko is sweet. He's this oversized midfeilder that absolutely plays as hard as possible and always seems to fuck with one of the opposing teams players. He's kinda like Ron Artest without the Domestic Violence/Insanity. He just plays hard D, and usually makes one or two good moves on corners (he's tall, strong and can jump, great guy for header goals). My problem, Bellamy. He just seems like kinda a punk. This is completely irrational, but it is. Sidenote: Steven Gerrard is good.

Real Madrid: They have Beckham, and he seems to be playing better, but their identity is moving to the US in three months. I know he's not the best on the team anymore, but when you watch a telecast they don't talk about a player more than Beckham. Can't sink my heart into a team that's about to lose its identity.

Arsenal: Pretty sweet actually, I almost got hooked on them. Thierry Henry is a playmaker, but he has just a tad of A-Rod in his personality/demeanor. The team plays good football, but it just wasn't to be.

And my team:

Chelsea: Okay that have a Russian Mobster as an owner. That right there gives them bad ass points. Plus they have my favorite player, Andrey Schevchenko. The guy is just fun to watch. Plus they have my second favorite player, Didier Drogba who seems to make smart plays/good crosses and they got the fiery Ballack. The team plays good one touch football, (for lack of football jargon) and they have incredible interception to outlet passes that start breakaways. Plus they are Blue, to be honest I have a hard time rooting for any red team (Liverpool, Man U, Real Madrid) just for the reason that it just seems to close to those damn dirty Trojans. The royal blue unis of Chelsea just seem to work for me. So there you have it, my new team.

This Lava Lamp Looks Like A Flourescent Penis

As if the conically shaped lava lamps weren't phallic enough, there are now lava lamps that seem to have a little tip at the top of the lamp. I know this because, Sebastian, the oldest boy in the family, has just received one from one of his friends. The whole family seems to like it, so much so that they placed it right in the middle of the fucking coffee table. It's dusk now, I'm lazy so I haven't turned on the lights, except that the iridescent phallus hasn't been turned off from the night before. Which leaves me...wait...yep, basking in the luminescence of a three foot high cock. If this post were literarily worthy at all some people might read this as my libido being out of control. No this is a crappy blog. Its literal.

I'm really not sure what to think of the lamp. It really annoys me but the family loves it. I've tried to hold back, but I think everyone has been able to sense my displeasure with it. But it's so shiny that it is easy to have your attention focused onto the lamp. It's the bane of my existence.

I've really been surprised at the lifespan somethings can have. Earlier today I heard an old Lionel Ritchie (or some other old soul dude) and I seriously hadn't heard it in... I don't know how long (outside of its joke inclusion into recent movies). Its made me a believer in Chemistry, that old idea that something cannot disappear or that you can't make something from nothing. A little cruder than a text book might give you but you get the picture.

It seems like there are certain things that seem to have stuck (or coincidentally recycled at this moment) in Chile that I really haven't had too many encounters with. The mullet being one. I saw it in Spain, but it seems to be making a resurgence in Chile as well. Since I cut off my own mullet at the tender age of 12, I've never understood them. I always thought they were hair's circumcision. You got to cut 'em off young before its too late.