I´m sitting in the airport right now, with my Vincent Van Gogh style earpatch, awaiting my flight home. It´s two weeks early and without a trip to Antarctica, but for even more than that there is a weight of sadness.
The last time I travelled for a bit, I was gone for six months, a fair bit of time. However, I never stayed and settled down, so when my time came to go home, I eagerly awaited my flight. I can say I was 100 percent excited to go home.
However that´s not the feeling I have now. I spent a long time here in Chile and I have a deep affection for the people and the place that allowed me to share the last 9 months with them. I feel sad, because I know that my Chilean mom, Pati, will not make it up to the states to see me. I can only hope that she saves enough so that Pato and the Patis can make it. The most likely thing is that I will have to go their to see them, and with the looming possibility of a real job, and only two weeks vacation, I will be seeing very little of them
I guess these are just the realities of travel, and I knew that they played a part, but I was unaware how strong my attachment and relationship would be to these people. I mean I almost cried on the bus today and that´s really saying something considering I didn´t cry for either of my grandparent´s deaths. I´m not sure what it is about my makeup, but I just don´t break down much.
So with a heavy heart, I´m heading to my gate. I´ll sit down, probably text my mom to let her know that I´m on my way, and then I´ll take off. I´m sure that my sadness will be lifted when I get home and see my mom at the airport pickup, with Cali hanging out the window. And when I get home and have a few beers with my brother and the crew, but it´s definitely the first time that I´ve really left part of my heart in some place since Hawaii when I was a kid. What´s even stranger is that I seem to be enjoying this weight of melancholy, because even though it´s a normally negative emotion it comes from a huge emotional gain. The Pati family is a group I will never ever forget, and a family that I already miss. I miss Pati cursing like a sailor, Claudio´s singing, Pati Sue and her prankster craziness, and Pati Paz and her sweet (albeit rarely shown) caring side. Even Pato, with whom I´ve spent very little time, I can only hope that I´ll here from him from time to time.
I just know I´ll be back.
1 comment:
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